First I want to thank each off you who commented on the previous post concerning offspring. I realize this is a rather controversial issue to say the least.
I do have a few more ideas that I would like you to consider and comment on if you wish. Once again I want to make it clear these are my opionions only and that I believe every situation is different.
I will begin by responding to some of the comments that were made. I did not feel attacked in any way for the thoughts I had and I thank you for your kind disagreement. The subject of God closing the womb I found interesting and I have several questions on the issue. The suggestion was made that for couples to make a decision to wait to have children is a sin. (I realize I may be paraphrasing this but that is the way it sounded.) The reason given was for us to tell God when we can or cannot have children is wrong. God has no reason to let us conceive when we decide we are ready to have children. How then do we explain teenage pregnancy or pregancy that is a result of rape or sexual abuse? Certainly this would not be in God's plan, would it? If we are going to say God opens and closes the womb how do we deal with the realm of infertility? Is adoption a sin? You know of our infertility struggle. You also know that one of our children is biological. We decided not to try to get pregnant for several years before we ever began trying. So is our infertility a result of that decision? If we are going to say that God will open and close the womb don't we also have to say that adoption is wrong? This has gotten to long as well and there is one more issue I want to discuss. That issue will need to wait.
Once again I am only asking questions and I am not upset with anyone.
God Bless
9 comments:
It has been quite the discussion on here. Regarding adoption, I always figured infertility might mean that God may want a couple to consider adoption. I really appreciate the way you and Ben's have taken on such a challenge. My hope/prayer is that God will bless you all for the sacrifices you have made in the whole adoption process. Aleya,Jackson,Jayden,JoAna,and Casey are all so special!
well first of all, if adoption is a sin, then my whole life is a sham, and I know that is not so. I was adopted as a baby. I was placed in exactly the home that God had planned for me, even when I was still in the womb.
I do not for one minute think its wrong for a person to use some common sense in family planning. For a woman to continuely be pregnant when she is not in the best of health is not using common sense. We all know what causes pregnancy, so maybe some self control is a thing to consider at times too. And I have personally seen too, that when there is so many children, then we as parents cannot meet each child's needs like they need to be met. Its not in how many children you have, but how you raise the ones you have. I know of one family that had 13 children, and it seemed like it was about a spiritual thing for them to be having another baby. Well them babies grew up, and there is a lot of chaos in that family. The children are coming out with stories that leave a person wondering. Their emotional needs were not all met, and I am not surprised, after all non of us can be everywhere all the time. Then that Fathers own brother had only 5 children, and I know for a fact that they were looked down on by the 1st brothers wife over the years, because they didn't have as many children. Well today, all their 5 children are actively serving the Lord. So which is better?? How ever many children you have... make sure that its not too many that you can't meet their emotional needs.
And don't forget there are very wicked women that get pregnant, and then abuse their babies..so getting pregnant is not always a sign of Gods perfect will. Remember... It rains on the just and the unjust.
I'm with Arlene...adoption is not Plan B. It's not a rescue operation...it's just a different way to have a family. Having your quiver (and flivver) full is just that. Doesn't matter HOW they got into your flivver, in my opinion. :o) In our case, twice it was because of unprotected paperwork. ;o)
On having as many as possible/as soon as possible/as long as possible...I don't know. I've experienced personally someone wondering why we didn't have children for three years...but the same person who wondered, decided to "quit" when they'd had "enough." Whether you decide to "not have" before or after your family is created seems to me to be the same issue. Why don't people hound the middle-aged couples like they do newly-weds? And I'm not advocating that anyone should...
I keep thinking about the verse about "He that does not provide for his family..." I think that could indicate more than monetary provisions.
There, now I've exposed my viewpoints...
It seems as if the big push for large families is based on the belief that anyone with less than 4 children is being selfish. I would offer the opinion that simply having lots of children doesn't signify unselfishness. As a matter of fact, in today's society large families often signify selfishness thanks to government aid and the welfare system.
I am in favor of large families.
I am also in favor of allowing a man and his wife the room to decide on the size of their families.
Children are a blessing from the Lord whether biological or adopted. In my mind this doesn't mean we haphazardly seek to manufacture or acquire as many children as we can, as fast as we can. I tend to believe God provided us with a very simple way to control conception, just try checking your calendars. Even so, He can give a husband and wife a child anytime He wishes.
Receiving children is a very serious responsibility and I think it should be considered in such a light.
Ben said exactly what I was going to.
I feel VERY strongly that no "way" is right or wrong for everybody - large families, small families, close together, far apart, adopted, biological, the list could go on.
What I feel the MOST strongly about is that a husband and wife need to decide TOGETHER.
I also strongly believe that nobody should judge, critize another couple. Nobody but that couple has any idea why they are choosing what they are choosing ( or if they are even choosing it). There are couples that cannot conceive and couples that wish they weren't quite so quick to conceive. I know Godly couples that have asked and felt led by God about the number and spacing of their children.
Anyway, for whatever that is worth that is my STRONG opinion. :-)
One more thing... this opinion is just as strong as those above or even stronger :-)... ADOPTION IS GOD'S PLAN AND IT IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!
I appreciated what Val said, adoption is not Plan B, it is not a rescue adoption... and I add this... it is God's plan for my life and the lives of my youngest 3 children!
You know what my dream as a young girl was???? To run an orphanage and have lots of babies around me so I could be holding and loving on one whenever I wanted to and whenever they needed me to. Well God gave me my desire, not an orphanage, but lots of babies to love on and care for. I don't care how they came, I am just glad they are here. Praise the Lord!
Rachel
I so agree with you Rachel. As I mentioned before, I was adopted as a baby, and now have 4 children that are adopted also. They are Gods plan for us..beyond the shadow of a doubt.
Now in response to Paul's post..sure some adopted children can have struggles but so can biological children. In my opinion,Most of the time when adopted children struggle with the issues of adoption, its because the adoption issue wasn't handled right. The thing every child wants whether they are adopted or bio, is the security of knowing they belong and fit in no matter what, and know that God had their lives planned before they were born. They need to know that they were created exactly for the family that adopted them. It isn't a mistake!! I grew up in a super home. My mom always told me, that she would forget that she didn't give birth to me. Because to her, I was her child until the end of time. Its not that we just "choose" people to adopt. For a couple that is seeking the will of God, and feel led, that is God's Perfect Plan for them.
After all, we are all adopted into God's family. What would happen if God would always refer to us as just adopted? Cuz if we aren't really God's child, then we would be the devils child. Thanks be to God He doesnt view us as that. We are HIS!!!
I also want to add in connection to my earlier post. I do not think that its wrong to have big families. Obviously that is Gods plan for some. My point was just that not everyone is cut out to have big families even if physically it was possible.(My opinion only>>:) )
This is for Arlene,
I have tried to visit your site and it never works. Always says I need a password. I would enjoy checking in on you if I could figure out how to do it.
Rachel
Rachel, I don't know why it won't work.. Sorry, but here is a link that maybe that will help. Your welcome to visit anytime.
http://www.xanga.com/private/yourhome.aspx?user=countrygal101
Oops that link didnt really work did it??:( Anyways, when when it asks for a password, it just means a Xanga username. You dont have to set up a blog to get a username.
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