Why I Don't Hunt

I always wondered why I don't hunt. I hunted when I was a lad because everyone else did but as I got older the desire to hunt dwindled. Last night I discovered why I don't hunt. Eldon, first cousin of mine and Lowell's brother, stopped in last night and told me he had shot at a deer but it galloped off over the hill and he couldn't find it. He used the phone to call his dad before going off into the murky darkness to search some more for the love of his life. By the way, his father did not answer the phone and now I understand why. Thirty minutes later Eldon rapped on the door again. He had located the deer but had been unable to lug the horned creature, battery pack, and flash light back to the truck. I, being such a nice guy, not mention nieve, willingly offered to help drag his kill out of the bushes. The spot of the kill was in some of cut over land located behind our barn. This cut over land happens to be home to tons of weeds, briar patches, and honey locust trees. These trees take great pride in there ability to grow razor sharp thorns. We were able to get the truck within 200 yards, give or take a few miles, of the kill. We then drug this animal out of the jungle to the pick up. Due to the size of the deer and the physical condition of one of the draggers, we were propelled to rest quite frequently. I don't know how much this buck weighed but by the time we had him to the truck it felt like he weighed well over a ton and I had no idea how we would ever hoist him onto the bed of the truck. Eldon, with great woodsmen strength and power, hoisted him onto the truck while I grunted feebly and acted like I was trying to be helpful. After the project was finished I collapsed in a heap in the truck. As Eldon drove back to my house I moaned, "Now I know why I don't hunt. It's to much work....."
Eldon classified this buck as a nine pointer. After dragging it to the truck we figured we should count the other small tine which would land it in the 10 point category. What did it weigh? I don't know, couple thousand lbs I think.....