Raising Children

It appears that one of our boys has a very intense anger problem. How do you deal with this? I realize he is very young yet something needs to happen. He went into a rage this afternoon because we could not hold him when he wanted to be held. I know it sounds terrible and maybe I am all wrong. No, I did not give him a spanking/smack or anything of that nature. However, I wonder if that was what was needed. How do you decide what sort of discipline to use? I know that in todays world spanking can be viewed as abuse. I am also afraid that in a lot of cases it is abuse. What are your thoughts?