Feeling Feminine

Yesterday about noon the Dodson Pest Control rep., Jeff, was out to inspect the house we are renovating. While touring the house we found a young 3 foot black snake resting peacefully on top of the block wall and an interior wall in the basement. We discussed this development for a few minuets. During our discussion it came to light that he had little compassion for snakes in the house and he also had no desire to remove the thing from my presence. He decided he needed to work on my estimate while I came up with a game plan for Mr. Creepy's removal. He conveniently leaves the basement. The thought of hitting a snake with anything makes my skin crawl but I new the only way to avoid marital strife was to terminate the critter's life. I pick up my 16 inch crow bar, take a deep breath, and.... WAM I nailed that sucker right in the back. (His head was not to be seen.) MR. Snake made an apparent attempt to retreat down the block wall. What was I going to do??? My body is shaking in horror and shock. Once again I did the unheard of and hooked that fellow with the crow of my crow bar and gave a jerk. Much to my horror I he got wrapped around my bar. This is a very short bar and this caused me to have an out of body experience. I saw this black thing swinging viciously at the end of my bar and my arm began to have a very serious bout of malaria type symptoms. I heard this shuddering, wailful, fearful howl. I could see my knees pedaling wildly before my eyes. Apparently my body was going into an intense self-defense ritual. This is usually referred to as jumping up and down while yelling wildly. None of these antics made any difference because the snake was still located on my steel bar. After about 5 horror filled seconds I flung the bar and snake onto the floor. I then reached for 2x4 and gave some several serious smacks. I then picked up my crow bar and touched him. He acted like he still had some life so I proceeded to place two very well aimed blows to his head which put an end to this discussion. I then hooked the critter again and took him outside. I felt like I had just slain a lion or something of that nature. I tell you, when it comes to snakes I feel like a woman in her late eighties....